I have not been able to keep much in my head of late. My mind is a jumbled mess of things that need to get done, things that should have been done, what lies ahead and the possibilities they bring.
I am alternatively excited, scared, worried, frustrated, and depressed. Occassionally I feel all those things at the same time. If I've looked stunned lately, it's probably because I was at the time.
This whole business of selling our condo and buying a house has been emotionally draining, and we still have no sale or a house! We've gone from being super excited about one house, to not wanting anything to do with it once we found out how much work it needed.
We have found another house, one that we are trying hard not to get attached to. But how do you not get emotionally involved when you're buying a house? What would be the point if you weren't? But we are running out of time, and it seems less and less likely that we will be able to sell our condo and secure this house before the deadline set by the sellers. So this morning we talked about the possibility of having to take our condo off the market and wait till the new year to sell it. It's been at the back of our minds for some time now probably, but it was the first we actually talked about it. Maybe I'm being overly pessimistic, but maybe it's better that way and I won't set myself up for a bigger fall.
Amidst all this, there is the the everyday things that still need to get done. I'm still trying to figure out where everything is in our place following the cleanup. We are living in this space, but trying to make it look like no one is living in this space. And we've still got a bunch of boxes in the living room of our neighbour Jean. She's been super this past little while, letting us store our stuff there, watching Snoopy while our place was being showed, and even letting us crash there.
It's all been a little chaotic, and I guess that's worn off on me a little. I feel like I'm swimming underwater most days. Swimming underwater in slow motion. I hope I get to come up for air soon. Maybe I need new drugs?